It’s finally election day, I appear to have a semi-reliable (so far) WiFi connection, I’ve rewritten and reposted the post WordPress ate last night and the hospital telly is allegedly fixed, so fingers crossed for the rest of the day – let’s hope the UK electorate is giving the politicoliterati the collective kick up the arse they so richly deserve. But we won’t know that till the results start rolling in when the polls close at 10pm Greenwich time, so until then here’s some interesting stuff to look at.
Ukip’s loudmouth-in-chief Nigel Farage and his pilot are injured while trailing a a campaign banner from a light aircraft
When Fatin found out her father was attempting to sell her, she immediately sought help from the law.
“I ran away from Najaf and escaped to Baghdad where I found my mother and asked her if she knew what my father was planning,” says 22-year-old inmate Fatin, “So she took me to court in Baghdad, we got a lawyer and brought a case against my father.”
Months passed and the lawsuit was never heard. While awaiting justice, Fatin says her father raped her. After the attack, she killed him, was tried, and is currently serving the fifth year of a 15 year sentence.
Mr Benn becomes deputy leader of the Labour Party
Everybody is the Rosa Parks of somethingâ€”or at least the Michael Phelps, Cap’n Crunch, Dick Cheney, Elmer Fudd, or Paris Hilton of whatever. This blog collects examples of the adaptable idiom “X is the Y of Z”, which is a snowclone. Feel free to use these descriptions when discussing your beautiful children, longtime companions, sworn enemies, favorite foods, and elected congressvermin. And if you need even more absurd comparisons, then you’re in luck.
Boneless, slithery and sometimes slimy but always fascinating, Circus of the Spineless No. 50 is up at Arthropoda.
Carry on, Master Bates….From the BBC News election campaign liveblog
Ever wondered if it’s OK to dress as a pirate when you head to the polling station to exercise your democratic right? For a list of the things you can’t do in a polling station, have a have a read of this
Apparently it’s OK to vote with bare manboobs, but not bare actual boobs
“Pyjamas are fine, provided they’re not indecent. And so is a builder who’s stripped to the waist. We want people to vote, we don’t want to turn people away,” he says. But a line does have to be drawn somewhere, he says. “A topless woman wouldn’t be appropriate as voters might get distracted.”
I’d've thought the returning officers would be more concerned about naked vote-stealing than naked norks. Sexist bastards.
And for my final flourish – from the Fast Show, it’s Channel 9 neus:
Falia helÃ©, Falia hela, Falia helÃ©, and don’t forget to vote.