If You Flinch Easily, Look Away Now

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Male readers, try not to immediately cup your family jewels protectively while reading this Metro story; your workmates’ll think you’re having a little private pleasure in public. Female readers – just try not to laugh.

Singapore:

A boss and his secretary who were having an affair saw their romantic tryst interrupted in a wince-inducing manner – after a car crash led her to accidentally bite his penis off.

According to reports in China Press and Sin Chew Daily, the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on her boss in a car in a Singapore park, when the car was struck by a reversing van.

The impact caused her to bite the man’s penis off.< Just in case this wasn't already bad enough for those involved, the incident was observed by a private detective who had been sent by the woman's husband to catch them out. He described how, shortly after parking, the car started to 'shake violently' - but then was hit by the van. He said that the woman screamed loudly, with her mouth covered in blood. Whole story