Don’t Let’s Be Beastly To The Germans

But why shouldn’t I be beastly? You killed my grandma, you teutonic bastards!

Ah, but when I say ‘you’ who do I actually mean? The generation that blitzed Britain, invaded most of Europe and exterminated nearly all of European Jewry is almost gone bar a few aged relicts gumming their Iron Crosses in very clean senior facilities, and the Germans of today bear no responsibility for past horrors.

Rational people realise this. Nevertheless, negative feelings towards Germany and stereotypes about Germans persist, both in the US and in Britain:

Not that there isn’t a kernel of truth in some of the stereotyping; this video is one of a series from German broadcaster Deutsche Welle‘s YouTube channel called The Truth About Germany and explains the concept of speißigheit:

spießig
smug {adj}
suburban {adj}
bourgeois {adj}
philistine {adj}
narrow-minded {adj}
petty bourgeois {adj}
white-bread {adj} [coll.]
square {adj} [coll.: boringly traditional]

The whole series is well worth watching.

As if being labelled petty bourgeois, obsessive and dull weren’t enough, one of the most persistent stereotypes of Germans is that they have no sense of humour.

Oh ja? Is dat zo? German comedian Henning Vehn has made it his mission to turn that particular stereotype inside out and give it a good shake:

Here he is trying to entice visitors with his guide to (West) Germany;

…and boggling at the British tabloids’ obsession with the Nazis and WWII:

Yes, our papers are a bit obsessed, aren’t they ? You’d think the German armed forces were some kind of mechanical death whirlwind rather than fallible human beings:

Less mechanical death whirlwind, more Windy Miller.

So what have we learned from this brief foray into German culture and humour? Bugger-all really, other than the Germans are just like us really, and stereotypes (whilst sometimes having at their core a teensy-weensy little seed of truth) are just mental constructs that serve to distance us from our common humanity. It’s much easier to kill a humourless kraut than it is to kill a fellow human being who’s quite nice really. Let’s not be beastly to the Germans – we’re going to need them soon anyway, when the economy goes to shit.

Attack of The Twitterati

What are they putting in Sky News‘ office coffee machine these days, crystal meth?

You’d think so, judging by the behaviour of Sky News presenters Adam Boulton and Kay Burley today….

But first a few words of explanation.

One of the most highly-trending topics on Twitter during the past day or so has been #don’tdoitnick. It’s been an attempt by twitterers to stop LibDem leader Nick Clegg forming an alliance with David Cameron’s Tories. Part of the action was a flashmob on College Green this afternoon.

It’s outside Parliament and always chosen by publicity hungry demonstrators, because a] it’s small and thus makes the protest look huge and b] it’s easy for the major media outlets to get to (especially as this afternoon, pre-El Gordo’s resignation announcement, they had bugger-all else to do).

In this YouTube video, Sky News presenter/reporter (I hesitate to dignify her with the title ‘journalist’ in this instance) Kay Burley interviews one of the protesters. She gets very shrill indeed, not to mention political, and starts shrieking at the quietly reasonable interviewee:

Sky, or rather Murdoch’s News Corp, supports the Conservatives, the party the twitterers are there to try and stop the LibDems forming a coalition with. If they were to form a coalition, the Tories could be the next UK government. There’s a palpable conflict of interest there, and Kay Burley’s not even making a pretence of being a disinterested reporter.

The protesters wouldn’t let it lie. “Sack Kay Burley! Sky News Is Shit!” – not only did they heckle her on live tv:

but before the end of the afternoon #sackkayburley became one of the top trending hashtags in the UK.

But it wasn’t just one shrieking Murdoch presenter – it was two. This wasn’t an isolated incident; cut to later the same day, and here’s Sky’s senior political reporter losing it in an interview with Blair’s former spin doctor Alistair Campbell:

(via Political Scrapbook, the best bit is at 4.00 min)

Boulton and Burley are hardly the Bill O’Reillys of UK tv, (USAnians would probably find their behaviour quite tame in comparison), but it’s clear to see that they are from the same stable.

All use the classic News Corp interview technique – shout loudly in order to drown out reasonable argument and if that doesn’t work, try to intimidate the interviewee out of challenging you further by the use of force majeure (ie turning off the camera).

But what these Murdoch employees really have in common is the whiff of panic they give off – it may be panic that they are no longer at the cutting edge of making and reporting news, or panic that any mere civilian should think they have the right to challenge them; or it could just be panic about the continuing existence of their jobs, as the news narrative (despite their blogs and online presence) slips out of their hands and into that of the public’s, via social networks and mobile devices. Or it may well be all of the above.

Whatever it is, it’s bloody good fun to watch.

UPDATE If only for completeness’ sake, here Boulton bollocks Ben Bradshaw.

Pop A Cap On Tick

Not on tick exactly, but close. I’m gobsmacked to learn that you can rent guns for $10. DIY death at discounted prices – only in a certain country…

A commenter on YouTube called this guy ‘the Colonel Sanders of murder’. Exactly.

UPDATE: Compare and contrast:

Yea kids!

(Do they mean wigs or weed, btw?) Cognitively dissonant much, America?

Linky Linky Shminky Pinky Heth – eth – eth – eth – eth – eth – eth – eth – eth! Chris Waddle

Bono Estente!

Cheers, Simes!

It’s finally election day, I appear to have a semi-reliable (so far) WiFi connection, I’ve rewritten and reposted the post WordPress ate last night and the hospital telly is allegedly fixed, so fingers crossed for the rest of the day – let’s hope the UK electorate is giving the politicoliterati the collective kick up the arse they so richly deserve. But we won’t know that till the results start rolling in when the polls close at 10pm Greenwich time, so until then here’s some interesting stuff to look at.

Ukip’s loudmouth-in-chief Nigel Farage and his pilot are injured while trailing a a campaign banner from a light aircraft

CNN: Sex slave girls face cruel justice in Iraq:

When Fatin found out her father was attempting to sell her, she immediately sought help from the law.

“I ran away from Najaf and escaped to Baghdad where I found my mother and asked her if she knew what my father was planning,” says 22-year-old inmate Fatin, “So she took me to court in Baghdad, we got a lawyer and brought a case against my father.”

Months passed and the lawsuit was never heard. While awaiting justice, Fatin says her father raped her. After the attack, she killed him, was tried, and is currently serving the fifth year of a 15 year sentence.

From astronomy blog Starts With A Bang : A Mysterious Light on the Darkest Night “….say hello to the gegenschein…” and some gorgeous time-lapse video of the Milky Way too.


Mr Benn becomes deputy leader of the Labour Party

I am the Isabella Blow of whiny transplant patients. Much obliged to Unfogged (yet again) for turning me on to The Rosa Parks of Blogs

Everybody is the Rosa Parks of something—or at least the Michael Phelps, Cap’n Crunch, Dick Cheney, Elmer Fudd, or Paris Hilton of whatever. This blog collects examples of the adaptable idiom “X is the Y of Z”, which is a snowclone. Feel free to use these descriptions when discussing your beautiful children, longtime companions, sworn enemies, favorite foods, and elected congressvermin. And if you need even more absurd comparisons, then you’re in luck.

Boneless, slithery and sometimes slimy but always fascinating, Circus of the Spineless No. 50 is up at Arthropoda.

Carry on, Master Bates….From the BBC News election campaign liveblog

Ever wondered if it’s OK to dress as a pirate when you head to the polling station to exercise your democratic right? For a list of the things you can’t do in a polling station, have a have a read of this

Apparently it’s OK to vote with bare manboobs, but not bare actual boobs

“Pyjamas are fine, provided they’re not indecent. And so is a builder who’s stripped to the waist. We want people to vote, we don’t want to turn people away,” he says. But a line does have to be drawn somewhere, he says. “A topless woman wouldn’t be appropriate as voters might get distracted.”

I’d’ve thought the returning officers would be more concerned about naked vote-stealing than naked norks. Sexist bastards.

And for my final flourish – from the Fast Show, it’s Channel 9 neus:

Falia helé, Falia hela, Falia helé, and don’t forget to vote.